Validation of Happiness

I keep noticing that when I'm happy I want to share my happiness way more than anyone probably cares about.  Like tonight, I had a REALLY fun day gaming and I have the strongest urges to update my facebook status with something like: I LOVE MY FRIENDS!! GAMES ARE GREAT! SO ARE THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY THEM! HOW MUCH WONDERFUL CAN FIT INTO ONE DAY?!?!?!
and these things are a) annoying and b) excessive and c) no one cares.  Not to say that my friends aren't invested in my happiness (on some level) or that I shouldn't share being happy with people (because being happy is awesome) but why do I feel this strange need to validate my happiness on some level by sharing it with everyone?  I wonder if it's more about getting attention or if I really do want to share just because I think it will make other people happy that I'm happy...or something else entirely that I'm unwilling to admit to myself possibly...
Moral of the story: I've had a really fantastic day!! I'm so pleased with my life because I have days like this frequently and it feels somewhat unfair to be so happy and love my life so much, but if I can't be happy in my life I'm not living it very well.  I appreciate and love my friends (new and old) in such a way that I am at loss to put words to my feelings and I kind of love that.  I hope for many more days that leave me feeling like this at the end :)

Song title quotes (7-6-11)

A: Which song? Are you feeling groovy? Do you have a bridge that rides over troubled waters? Are you a boxer going to Scarborough fair with rosemary and thyme?
R: All of the above, because I'm the only living boy in new york.
A: I thought you told me you were a girl and your name was Mrs. Robinson?
R: Well, then again, it might be Kathy.
A: Are you sure it isn't Cecelia?
R: I do get confused, especially when I'm with Julio in the school yard.
A: Is that school yard located in my little town?
R: Yes, which is where I'm traveling to.
A: Are you going to an island? I hear they never cry, kinda like rocks.
R: Yeah, which makes me homeward bound.
A: Make sure to check out the 59th street brigade when you get there!
R: Oh I will! I've heard the sounds of silence.
A: Damnit! You used the one I wanted too! I guess that's what I get for being an 'old friend' of yours.
R: Oh man! You might have won! But it's ok because I'm in America.
A: Oh I wish I could line in America. I'm just a poor boy who flew down to Mexico.
R: Did you just lose?! That was great, it makes me want to wake up to little Susie.
A: Did I just lose? That's like asking me if I would rather be a sparrow or a snail!

Backpacking!! (7-2-11)

Reason to be Excited Today: going backpacking with family and friends

Old Friends (7-1-11)

Reason to be Excited Today: reconnecting with old friends

THREE Best Friends!! (6-27-11)

Reason to be Excited: I talked to ALL THREE of my best guy friends today, I often forget how lucky I am to have them, I am trying to keep this in mind though :)

Phone Call! (6-26-11)

Reason to be Excited Today: Upon waking I noticed one of my best friends had called - so I called him back and we had a lovely half hour conversation, and it was a great start to my morning!

Pool Fun (6-25-11)

Reason to be Excited Today: an hour plus game of keep away in a pool with new friends :) followed by games and food and more fun

"Long Lost Friend" (6-20-11)

Reason to be Excited Today: I ran into a friend I haven't seen in about 2 years!!! :)

Childish Fun

Sometimes I think that people need to have childish fun sometimes, I just went with 3 of my friends to Build-A-Bear and we each made a new friend and then proceeded to dress them up and have a super fun time, it has made my day - and I had a REALLY good day :D

Reason to be Excited Today: Childish Fun

Adventuring

What is an adventure? Merriam-Webster online says this:

Main Entry: ¹ad·ven·ture

Pronunciation: \əd-ˈven-chər\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English aventure, chance, risk, from Anglo-French, from Vulgar Latin*adventura, from Latin adventus, past participle of advenire to arrive, from ad- + venire to come — more at come

Date: 14th century

1 a : an undertaking usually involving danger and unknown risks b : the encountering of risks 2 : an exciting or remarkable experience 3 : an enterprise involving financial risk

I don't really like any of these definitons because they suggest that an adventure must be, in some sense, extreme. I do not believe that all adventures must be extreme or exciting or remarkable or involve risk. I believe that adventuring should be an every day (or every other day) event!

I go on adventures every day. Often, they are small - I will adventure into a new area of the interwebs and get "lost", I will adventure by taking a different route to get somewhere I often visit (like the UCA), I adventure in my practice a lot by sight reading. Point being, anything can be an adventure if you make it one. I have been known to ask my friends what kind of adventure they had today, or will have to day, or suggest that we go adventuring somewhere sometime. The first time this happens they are often confused as to what I mean because they don't understand that an everyday event can be made into an adventure.

Today I will adventure into a fantasy world with children (playing DND, I'm the DM, see this post) and I am quite excited. They will be ambushed by a bone devil and several small demons, it will be quite an adventure.

I am looking quite forward to the summer when I can take walk adventures with my friends late at night and it will still be nice to be outside.

If you feel like it, tell me about your favorite small adventure!

So...I've been a little negligent in my postings

You may have noticed that it's been a while since my last post....there's a good reason I promise.

1) I have kind of run out of things to write about. I know that there are still things, I have a lot to say, but it's not objective comparisons or positive things and I would hate for one of my teachers to read this and get the wrong impression

2) I am SO sick of thinking about how CSU is not Lawence, when it's a constant voice in my head it's really hard to get up the motivation to spend 23ish minutes writing about such differences

3) If you haven't heard Romanovsky and Phillips' Emotional Rollercoaster then you won't really understand my AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I tried to find it on youtube but I couldn't. or I would have posted a link. You can find a short clip on Amazon if you're really curious.

Anyway...that's what my life has been like and for the past few weeks I have been moving in a mostly downward motion. When Renee is upset with things she doesn't want to talk about them, write about them, think about them or really have anything to do with them. Now, when I'm upset with school I still have to go...so problem. It took everything I had to be able to go to school, do my homework and appear to be mostly normal. The biggest thing that continued to make actually happy were (and are) my amazing friends...but I already wrote a post about them...hence lack of posting.

Here are the most important friends in my life at the moment:

Andrew Deem - he plays trombone and is majoring in Music Education...he is responsible for introducing me to these other wonderful people and is from Colorado Springs

Tiki (Tiffany Key) - she plays flute and is also majoring in Music Education, she went to Rocky Mt. High School here in Fort Collins so we think we've met before but aren't entirely sure

Batman! (Cory Bissell) - he plays bass clarinet in band and trombone in marching band, he is also majoring in Music Education and is from Virginia

Tess Stoops - I actually met through my friend Celeste, she is not in band, majoring in something and we have a Friday date (either breakfast or lunch) that always makes my week more wonderful

In answer to your questions yes, I'm feeling much better, "Things are looking up, it's a great little world we live in..." (extra special bonus points if you know where this is from) and I wil be updating much more regularly now.

Smiles :) :D

Friends

I was re-surprised to find what a large impact one or two or three people can have on my life, mood and general thought processes. I didn't realize just how much not having a constant availability of friends to hang-out with was effecting me. I realized that there was a lack of that and that I was not quite as entirely happy but until I woke up euphorically happy this morning I didn't realize the full extent of impact that my friends and people connections have on my life.

Last night I had three friends over for dinner and tea and then homework and more tea. I was so extremely pleased when I went to sleep simply because I had been surrounded with friends for most of the day. I woke up with the knowledge that I would have people to see at school today and friends. It was great, and I am still extremely happy - such to the extent that I have not been in a really long time.

This is, of course, not to say that I didn't have any friends earlier but now I have friends that I see every day that I also hang-out with on occasion (hopefully with increasing frequency). I have very much enjoyed seeing my friends from high school, both that I have stayed in contact with and those I haven't whom I see randomly on campus, I would not have been able to make it into week 4 without them. Nor would I have been able to make it without random calls/txts/wall posts/etc. from my friends who are elsewhere (namely Lawrence).

After going through these few weeks and now being re-aquainted with having "hang-out friends" I appreciate my friends (all of you/them) even more, in whatever capicity they fill for me - whether it be random hellos (friendly acquaintences), coffee dates, phone calls, letters, facebook comments/posts, posts on this, drinking tea with me, doing homework with me, playing in an ensemble with me and making faces during rehearsal, giving me much needed hugs (random or asked for), or just plain old chillin'.

Summary (as I am "learning" in CO150): I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!

I miss you all, even if I see you daily, I miss you :P

Oh, and thank you for being my friend, my life would be less full and wonderful without you.

VERSES: Common Area/Lounge

If you're reading my blog, chances are you know that I am a people person, maybe even a SUPER PEOPLE PERSON - this means that the place in the music building/con where people hang out and chill is really important to me. When CSU started I feared that their common areas (the biggest being near the concert hall) would remain scarcely populated as they were for the first few days of school. What I have come to realize is that it is heavily populated during some parts of the day and empty during others, pretty consistent for times as well. There are two circles of plushy chairs around little round tables (that are perfect feet height) and then there are four tall tables, each with two chairs, near the windows, against the wall to the west. The room area is probably about 25ft by 15ft. I also really like the large quantity of natural light that comes in through the windows.

Lawrence lounge area is HUGE, basically the central part of the basement - in it's entirety. There's a lot more seating areas (two u-shaped areas) with couches, chairs and then in the middle are benches. People pretty much always chill there, as long as it's not a weekend before 11am :) or after 2am...on any day. There is zero natural light source because it is a basement. It seems like a much more used area but that could just be that it is a hallway of sorts and so people go through it all the time. The two different couch sections are also socially separated into jazz instruments/people and everyone else. The positive aspects of this arrangement is that there is intelligent conversation always going on and there is somewhere that is socially similar for everyone to be. Downsides are that there is not a complete integration which disallows some potentially interesting conversations and insights. Another awesome thing about the Lawrence lounge is its location. Since it is near to the practice rooms and the lockers (see practice room post about that) people congregate there ALWAYS and it is a great place to take a 5 min practice break.

CSU doesn't have a segregation based on side of the lounge...but sitting there today for an hour or so I watched the area go from a few instrumentalists to all singers (except me) and then they all left at pretty much the same time, it was crazy. So I would say that it is segregated based on time. The CSU lounge is sort of close to the lockers but it is away from the practice rooms. There are also several different other mini-lounges scattered around the building - this is nice but it doesn't create one central area like Lawrence has. It's hard to say that I like one better than the other because a lot of what I appreciated about the lounge at LU (Lawrence) was the people there. I'm making friends at CSU but I've only been here for 3 weeks (and two days) verses two years. I do find that it is easier to get homework done in the lounge at CSU, due mostly to the fact that there are less people that I am likely to become distracted by on a regular basis. I rarely find people sleeping at CSU, but we're not yet a month in and the building isn't open that late. It's an interesting comparison that I hadn't expected and am now very intrigued by.

Random questions (because I like them): what is your favorite way to eat peanut butter?

VERSES: Cost

OK, so I'll start with the staggaring statistic:

Lawrence is about $40,000 a year and going up

CSU (in-state, with room and board) is about $14,000 (also going up)

CSU (in-state, without room and board and with the Colorado opportunity fund) is about $6000

This means that I can finish my degree at CSU (where it will take me three years) for LESS than ONE YEAR at Lawrence, if the math is correct. This, of course, does not take scholarships into account...but unless Lawrence gives me a lot more than they are, CSU will remain the cheaper.

Given that, CSU happily charges you for every little thing they possibly can. I had to pay an extra fee for a mandatory orientation, for my ID, to check out an instrument for tech classes, for EVERY LARGE ENSEMBLE CONCERT I GO TO I will have to pay $5, to register my bike, a practice room key and a locker. Maybe (probably) I'm just bitter and angry (regardless of all of these extra costs it's still cheaper than Lawrence) but it threw me for a loop. I'm used to getting into all concerts for free unless they are guest artists.

Since one of the biggest (only) reasons I decided to take a year off was lack of $$ this means that this is important....unfortunatly.

Winner of cost: CSU, hands down, no contest

Does that mean I'm fo' shiz transferring until I graduate? no, I'm still in decision mode

In other, happier, news: I have new friends! and they are wonderful! and I'm excited to get to know them better as I am here longer.

Also, today, I ran into TWO people(friends) from high school whom I haven't talked to in a long time. It was wonderful seeing them and doing a quick catch-up...honestly, it kind of made my day. Thanks for beign excited to see me!!!!

Question as sign off: If I were a breakfast cereal, what do you think I would be? and why? (I won't think less of you, regardless of what you write, I promise)